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Happy 2013 everyone!
As I write this, I’m on the East Coast of the country with one of my girlfriends. I’m wishing you much love, health and happiness from the dirty, dirty South.
I love that the New Year is always full of fresh, new beginnings for people. I’m excited for what this year will offer me and you!
…with all the New Year talk, I’ve got to ask does a new year necessarily mean a new you?
New beginnings come with a price. That price is sacrifice, putting in the work it takes to really get what you want.
When we say hello to exciting, new beginnings, we also may have to let go of nasty, old things that got in our way of reaching a goal in the first place. We must get good at letting go.
Now to the subject at hand: break-ups.
When I say now is the perfect time for a break-up, I mean with all types of relationships, whether it’s an unhealthy relationship with a loved one, work, an extreme diet, a bad habit or an attitude about ourself.
Break-ups are probably the hardest things we have to go through to grow. The majority of them don’t end well. I’ve seen break-ups dragged out for days, months and even years, which is why they just suck and sometimes we avoid them altogether.
Break-ups don’t have to suck. They can be painful, yes. Dramatic? No. Think of break-ups like this: If it really wasn’t a good idea to break-up, then wouldn’t both parties just stay happy and prosper in the relationship?
There’s a positive side of break-ups and while they are painful, they’re also beneficial. So here’s why you should just break-up with that nasty relationship now:
1. You deserve everything and anything that makes you happy in this lifetime.
Everyone says it because it’s true: Life is short. The fact that life will be better as a result of your break-up is a good enough reason to just get it over with. Why postpone your happiness?
Think of all the new, fun things you will be able to do after the break-up. Open new opportunities for yourself this year. Remember that when one door shuts, many others open.
As I heard my baby sister once say, there’s no use in crying over spilled milk. Just pour yourself another glass.
2. You’ll never gain back all the time you’ve already wasted procrastinating.
This particular moment in time will never repeat itself, which is why it’s important to live and be present in the moment. Do what’s right for you now.
Many times we second guess ourselves. Trust your intuition. Trust your gut feelings. We are so much smarter and stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
If you’ve been contemplating ending a bad relationship, now’s the time to do it. Take action and stop procrastinating because things can get worse. Now is always a good time for a break-up.
3. Unhealthy relationships can stop you from reaching your goals. Obviously not one relationship is perfect. They all take work, but there are some relationships that will never work and need to be let go of. They lead nowhere good and are just (hate to say it) pointless.
I know this first-hand because of my unhealthy relationships with stress. Last year I decided to call my unhealthy relationship with stress quits. It’s been a wild roller-coaster a work in progress.
Stress can be a good thing. How you manage that stress is what makes all the difference in your health. There are 2 types of stress: Eustress (the good kind of stress that helps you grow. Work, school, exercise are all examples) and distress (the bad kind that breaks you down and wears you out. Abusive relationships and addictions are great examples).
I got so bad at managing my stress that my body was manifesting its stress physically. I kept procrastinating fixing the problem and thought that with time, it would all just fade away. I’d eventually figure it out.
My stress got so bad that it started to affect my personal relationships, my work and my health. My doctor told me I needed to make a change or else… something you never want to hear.I’m still struggling, because life will never cease to throw curveballs. But I’ve made major progress. Much of this progress is due to the unhealthy relationships I learned to kick to the curb. I learned to weed out the unnecessary stressors.
4. Drama for ya Momma is overrated. No one’s life is perfect. Everyone has their own kind of drama in their lives. But drama has its limits.
You cannot be stressed out by the same things over and over again without burning out. You need to set boundaries for yourself. This is hard for me because I tend to put others’ needs before mine, especially in personal relationships.
I knew that if I continued to procrastinate fixing my problems, my health would worsen. Finally I got fed up with feeling sorry for myself (and tired of going to see my doctor) and learned to weed out the unnecessary stressors in my life. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make a change for the better.
If you love so much drama in your life, make something good of it and move to Los Angeles, the entertainment capital of the world, where at least you might get paid for it. (Keep in mind even Hollywood dramas have endings too.)
5. Stupid excuses will always exist… and so will their solutions. There’ll always be a dumb excuse to not end a bad relationship.
“I’ll break up with [insert unhealthy relationship] after [insert excuse here]…”"Now’s not a good time…” or ”I don’t have the time to do it now”
“The holidays are not a good time for break-ups” (I almost used this excuse for this post!)
“I’ll do it tomorrow… Next week… Next year…. After the holidays…”
For every excuse to why you can’t do something, there exists a solution for it. So for those full of excuses, I suggest you write a list of all the barriers that are holding you back from reaching your goals. Next make a list of possible solutions to overcome these barriers. You might not have all the answers right away, but that’s not the point. The point is to work through obstacles you encounter and make a habit out of working through tough challenges. You can always go back to the list and write more solutions.
The good thing about new beginnings is that they’re solely for you. No one can tell you what you should look forward to this year. As corny as it sounds, everyone has their own path to love, health and happiness.
I started to write this post before I left on holiday vacay. I spent Christmas with my family in Los Angeles and while I wanted to post this earlier, I figured it had to wait. I didn’t want to sound like I was missing a sensitivity chip during the holidays. Glad I decided to just publish anyway, regardless of the timing.
What unhealthy relationship or habit will you be breaking with this year?
More Healthy Reads:
SMART Tips to Make New Resolutions Stick
Easy Steps to Living a Heart-Healthy Life
7 Ways to Eat Healthy Before, During and After the Holidays